BUT I WANT IT NOW!

Your toddler looks you right in the eye, stamps his little foot, and exclaims, “But I want it now, Mommy!” Or your teenager slams his books down on the kitchen table, crosses his arms over his chest, and calls out, “I don’t want to wait. I want it now!”

I want it now. That’s a phrase we hear used by our children, husband, employer, friends, and neighbors. We live in a society that refuses to wait. In a world of fast-food restaurants, one-hour photo processing, and instant soup and pudding, it’s no wonder that we suffer from a lack of patience. If we are stuck in traffic jams, long lines at the post office or grocery store, or have to wait for service at a restaurant, we become irritable and angry. We want what we want… and we want it now! Those around us can hardly distinguish between the tantrum we throw and the ones thrown by our toddlers or teenagers.

I heard myself use that same phrase to my husband just this morning, and the Lord pricked my heart to its very core. I realized that in essence, I was throwing a tantrum. I didn’t stamp my foot, throw anything, or raise my voice. But in God’s eyes, I know He viewed it as a tantrum. God didn’t want to hear my feeble excuses that tried to justify my words. It really didn’t matter to Him how long it took for the repairmen to fix the broken pipes in the back yard. He wasn’t concerned with the huge mess, the mounds of dirt, the demolished plants, or the ruined grass. The fact that my peaceful oasis of a backyard now looked like the ravages of Desert Storm was not God’s main concern. He cared about my response, and He saw straight into my heart attitude … my impatience. Ouch! The Lord has more molding and shaping to do on me.

I have learned to take books or work with me whenever I have to wait for appointments, in airports, or in traffic. Those are areas that I can be somewhat in control of my waiting times and can choose to make them productive. But being completely at the mercy of someone else’s timetable – in this case, the workmen’s – was a stretching experience for me. There was nothing that I could do to hurry them along. There was no magic way to find the broken pipes. It was a trial and error method … with mounds of dirt as the result. The workmen were tired, frustrated, and dirty as the hours turned into days. As I helplessly watched the damage grow, my impatience grew.

My outburst of, “ I want it fixed now,” was evidence of my own frustration. I wanted our haven of shade trees, soft green grass, and beautiful blooming flowers back just as they had been before broken pipes. I wanted my haven of rest returned – the place I escape to from ringing telephones, responsibilities of the ministry, and the duty of laundry and cooking. I wanted to flee to my sanctuary in the backyard and focus on God’s majesty as I listened to the trickling water from the creek and watched the birds building nests. I wanted respite from schedules and daily demands. I wanted my backyard back! Now!

Isn’t that the way we all are? We want our way, and we want it right now. We don’t like our schedules interrupted or delayed. Not only do we think we know what is best, we think our time frame is the only workable time schedule. Bottom line, we are self-centered and selfish. And our attitudes break God’s heart.

As I bowed low before the Father sharing my heart, I began to confess my attitude of impatience. I had taken my eyes off of the Lord and onto my selfish interests. I asked Him to cleanse me and to help me stay focused on Him. I asked Him to reveal to me what He wanted me to learn during this waiting period. I asked Him to fill me with creative ways to make this waiting period productive and count for eternity. I began to wonder how I could share His love with those workmen. And I imagine the Lord probably began to smile. I think He might even have thought, “ Ah, she’s learning the value of waiting. That’s the lesson I wanted to teach her.”

Do you have trouble waiting? Are you known for tapping your fingers or patting your foot in agitated impatience? Could God be trying to teach you the value of learning to wait upon His timing? Could He be giving you the opportunity to choose eternal priorities? Could He be using this situation to stretch you and mold you into the image of His Son? Do you need to join me on my knees in humble repentance?

Do you also need to pray, “Lord, change me”?

I’m praying for you!

Edwina