Time Together
Coffee. Tea. Hot chocolate. What a diverse group. Ignoring the noise in the coffee shop, I relaxed against my husband. The tea warmed my body and the conversation warmed my heart. I wished for a tape recorder or pen and paper to take notes as I listened to R.J. and his friend discuss relationships, especially the bond between a father and son.
Tom’s eyes twinkled as he graphically described his son’s recent choir performance. The curtain parted and the teenagers began to sing. While they sounded like angels, he could tell some were uncomfortable and would rather be elsewhere. The audience faithfully applauded after each presentation, encouraging the choir.
At the final curtain call, Tom put his fingers to his lips and let out a shrill whistle of approval, unnerving all those around him and receiving some pretty nasty glares and exclamations of disgust.
In the car on the way home, Tyler leaned forward and asked his dad where he was sitting in the auditorium. In the back? Tom nodded, “Yes.” And Tyler responded, “I knew that was you whistling. I leaned over to my friend and told him, ‘That’s my Dad.'”
Tom glanced in the rear view mirror and saw the smile of satisfaction on his son’s face, and the memory of the hateful glares he’d received earlier paled in significance. A priceless moment. A treasured memory. Without a doubt, his son knew he was there for him, loved him, and wasn’t ashamed to tell the world he was proud of him!
R.J. and I smiled as we shared Tom’s joy in finding a creative way to express his unconditional love for his son. The men continued to share imaginative ways to affirm their sons. Standing in the rain at football games, shooting hoops together, working on science projects together, going fishing together, playing catch together, and changing the oil in the car together were at the top of their lists.
I noticed the key to their suggestions was the word together. Time spent with a child is the biggest and most productive ingredient in the formula. Sons and daughters both long for time with Dad. And I found myself praying, “Oh Lord, give us more fathers willing to step out of their comfort zones–regardless of the consequences–and evidence their love for their children. May fear of other’s reactions and possible rejection not cause them to hesitate to openly express approval and encouragement for their children. May they not be preoccupied with cell phones or pagers, but pay attention, applaud, whistle, and cheer for each child’s accomplishment.
Fill fathers everywhere with the desire to examine their schedules and seek Your guidance as they set their priorities. May they realize the influence they have on their children and place time with them as a priority. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Questions? Comments? Suggestions?
©Edwina Patterson
